Secede in te ipsum

Sunset

2011-09-07T14:19:00.000-04:00

**This post is part of Indie Ink’s Weekly Writing Challenge. Joelyn was my Challenger this week. Her topic to me was "Describe a beautiful sunset.” I in turn challenged Bewildered Bug ** ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was beautiful. The muscles aching, straining to tap into some hidden energy reserves to climb up once more

Reaching the top

2011-08-30T12:25:00.000-04:00

It started out as a random line thrown in a conversation. My friend told me that he liked climbing a mountain an hour away from his house. "Maybe we should do that one time... climb a mountain," I said. Burst of laughter from me ensues. I'm not a really outdoorsy type of person. I'm a city boy. I like my concrete jungle. But, something within me has been changing these past few years. More and

The silence was deafening

2011-08-27T13:01:00.002-04:00

*This post was inspired by Sherree Worrell's writing challenge. The topic is "The silence was deafening.” I decided to take up the challenge as well.* The sun rose in the east. Day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, decades after decades, millennium after millennium, it did what it naturally did. And yet, somehow, this time, it was different. The sun rose not only

Poetry from the past

2011-07-10T20:48:00.000-04:00

It seems like it was only yesterday when I wrote this poem. And no, we no longer are together. Probably for the best. you Thirsty. Thirsty for your love. Thirsty for your touch. Thirsty for your soul. Thirsty to hear the words from you that you feel the same way I do. Empty. Empty from frustration. Empty from confusion. Empty from dissatisfaction. Empty to feel anything anymore because

On #usguys: a theological reflection

2011-07-05T11:50:00.000-04:00

Recently, I joined a group called #usguys on Twitter. I must admit I just thought it was a random hashtag when I first saw it. Stephen Caggiano (@StephenCaggiano) showed up on my list of followers and so I followed him back. While I was looking at his Twitter profile, it said things like #God, #family, and other positive things. So far, so good. At the end of his profile, it said #usguys. Curious

On Graduating

2011-05-20T16:35:00.005-04:00

I stood up and took my place in the line. Names being called, graduands walking up the stage, smiling, shaking hands, getting a piece of paper, walking off, and going back to their seat. One by one, the people in front of me disappeared. Until finally, I was next. They called my name and it seems time stood still. This is it. Everything I've worked for. All the sleepless nights, hours of writing,

Life Insurance: yay or nay?

2011-04-12T19:10:00.001-04:00

The following is an excerpt from one of my projects for Biblical Interpretation and Application. For this class, we had to do a Scripture twisting journal. I know that I have had previous conversations in the past with fellow Christians who wonder about taking life insurance. This is my response to that question. Scripture Twisting: Matt. 6:19-20 My friend and I recently got into a

flashback

2011-04-02T17:06:00.005-04:00

So as I was thinking about how Wally Cirafesi is so young, I decided to think about the thoughts I was thinking when I was his age. And so I found this blog post... Frustration Sometimes I just don't want to read blogs of other people or just knowing what's going on in other people's lives. It just leads me to the wrong path of envy and jealousy. "Wow, they're really making something out of

Feb. 14 poem

2011-02-24T10:30:00.002-05:00

Thoughts on Feb. 14Why?The question that follows me.It is my shadowEver with me.Why this?And not that?It is my deadly foe.Who always vanquishes me.Oh, how it turns in my mind and my soul.Rendering me incompetent and disabled.It is a quest for meaningTo make sense out of nothingBut to no avail

The question of enthrallment

2011-02-11T21:09:00.005-05:00

I was talking to a friend yesterday about some of the problems we face when we communicate with our parents. A lot of the people I know (especially the Asians, or immigrants in general) have trouble talking to our parents. Why? I think it's the generational gap in thinking that serves as a barrier. Our parents usually ask questions like "What kind of job can you get with your degree?" or "How

A response to all the "there are no Christian men" blogs/posts

2011-02-02T12:08:00.002-05:00

IntroductionWhile the bemoaning of the fate of Christian men (where are they?) by men and women have gone on for a very long time, I have a sense through the recent proliferation of blogs/posts by those within my social circle, that it somehow has reached some sort of tipping point. Many more people are talking about this not-so-old complaint. And so, I just wanted to add another voice, albeit

a tribute to bill zeller

2011-01-11T01:12:00.003-05:00

to a man i never knew,your words resonated deep within me. your words haunt me. wherever you are, this one's for you.the dark passengerscream, cry, numbevery fiber strainingto hold it all together.but i can't.not anymore.no one knowsnot until the endwill they realize.by then... too late. emptiness swallowing me wholeuntil i am lost, never to be found. truth hurts.

plus ca change....

2011-01-10T00:33:00.006-05:00

A poem to herald in the New Yearsecrets of the souldrifting into familiar patternsseemingly never changingbursting with emotions uncontrollable, overwhelminghappy, peaceful, joie-de-vivre i wish that were truelonely, painful, alone my ever-so-close companionstragic, violent imagery haunts me to

Wonderment

2010-11-10T20:27:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I wonder... I wonder what my life would look like if I put God as my ultimate priority. While I really really want to do that, there's a huge part of me that's so scared about the outcome. Do I truly value God above my studies, above potential good jobs, above future income, above unfulfilling relationships that delude me into thinking that it is the epitome of everything that is good

back to school...

2010-09-16T19:08:00.003-04:00

well, this is my first full week of school. it has definitely been a difficult one. tres stressful and i'm not just talking about school. life circumstances could definitely be easier... but that's all just part of life i guess. i'm learning a lot though in my courses so i'm happy about that. i'll write more in the next couple of days. now off to read an article... the first of many. hahaha.and

Poem

2010-08-07T22:49:00.001-04:00

Here's a poem I wrote on the bus the other day. Eyes opening, Taking in the sights all around me Staring at a ceiling, a blank, white ceiling.Ears opening, Listening to the sounds of the street The humming of cars, a familiar beat Faintly heard, almost imagined.Mind thinking, Wondering why I ever saw this world alive,Hoping that the miseries of life would come to a halt, Though some may say the

Forever...

2010-07-19T11:50:00.002-04:00

This whole forever business has gotten me thinking. I was doing my devos today and came upon this verse"I will praise thee for ever, because thou hast done it: and I will wait on thy name; for it is good before thy saints. " - Psa. 52:9Praising God forever... while that is a beautiful thought and definitely something I would like to achieve... that word "forever" attached right after "praise" is

Betwixt

2010-03-23T21:00:00.004-04:00

I was talking to a friend the other day, catching up with each other's life. She was asking me how I was doing and told her what was percolating in my heart. "I'm not doing good" is probably the PG version of what I told her. She asked me if I was being a part of a community. I had to honestly say no. I didn't belong to a community. I didn't feel like I was a part of a community. Yes, I have

First post of 2010

2010-02-09T17:23:00.002-05:00

2010 has brought about many revelations of how there are still so many things in my life that need to change. Realizing this has brought about a certain degree of trepidation and some sense of excitement about what the future holds for me. One year older, one year somewhat wiser. Wiser, in the sense that I have realized more deeply and thoroughly how I don't know anything! In many ways, I was

The Shape of life

2009-10-21T00:00:00.002-04:00

I was contemplating writing "The Circle of life" but as I was thinking about it, I decided against it. Sometimes, it doesn't feel so infinite. It feels so finite. It feels like a line sometimes, when I've reached the destination and I'm left wondering, what's next? It seems like a square sometimes, going from corner to corner, getting lost in the process. Sometimes it's like a triangle, as I go

Song of Sid IV

2009-10-10T19:38:00.003-04:00

Song of Sid IVMind spinning, whirling, twistingRemembering what should remain forgottenSeizing what should remain hiddenContemplating what should remain latentSoul descending, spiralling, groaningFalling under a burden of careStumbling over sins I bearTripping over and under everything, I swearThe walls are closing inI can barely breatheMy world is caving inI can barely screamI cry out in the

Retreat

2009-10-07T22:53:00.007-04:00

This is a re-posting of a poem I wrote (3.31.2008). It just reminds me of how much I need to set aside time to be able to think and meditate and contemplate and reflect on God! It's a good reminder to me of what happens when I spend time with Him... He speaks! Lessons by the seaIn the distance, I hear the ocean's roarIts peaceful waves lapping the shoreIt caught my ear, it caught my eyeSuch a

Misty Waters

2009-08-19T16:12:00.002-04:00

On Monday, my Canadian STINT team went to Niagara Falls for a day trip. While I was there, I finally went to Maid of the Mist, a boat ride that takes you up close to the falls. I was all alone because they didn't want to go. So off I went. As I was nearing the falls, the mist created by the crashing of the falls intensified. And suddenly, it was almost like rain. And there I was, face to face,

a poem i never gave to a girl...

2009-07-28T15:03:00.004-04:00

In the darkness of night,I feel a warm ray of lightConfused, perplexed, amazed was I?The sun has setThe moon is nighAnd yet such warmth I felt could not be denied.Like Prometheus who stole fire from the gods,You have stolen the sun fro the skyLike Prometheus who gave fire to mortal men,So thou hast shared its radiant beams to those on earth who dwellI have heard tis folly to go near the sunToo

Now that you (pl) are gone...

2009-06-19T03:57:00.002-04:00

So a couple of days ago, my whirlwind romance with the Canadian projectiles have come to an end. I got to spend 6 glorious weeks with them and they were such a great source of encouragement for me. It's been awhile since I've felt loved and appreciated in a very expressive way so their leaving has left me feeling somewhat alone again. I enjoyed hanging out with them and getting a chance to talk

The Descent

2009-04-25T18:37:00.002-04:00

and so, slowly but surely, i go down to the pit. the only difference is that this time it is with resignation. it is hard not to give up when the outcome seems so certain.may God have mercy on my soul.and may God grant me the joy i need so badly too.and scene...

Away from it all

2009-04-13T17:32:00.002-04:00

This Easter weekend, I got away from it all. Went to a pretty chillax town about 7 hrs. away from here. It was beautiful and refreshing. I enjoyed it so much. I got to meet a bunch of really kewl English (and New Zealand) guys who were (was? lolz) fun to be with. There were some American and German girls at the hostel as well. I even met (and roomed!) with fellow Canadians!!! For supper, me and

Prayer Room Poem

2009-03-14T14:37:00.002-04:00

When e'er I lookWhen e'er i seeThe throngs of peopleA multitude, so manyWith eyes downcastWith a smile upside-downWith heads hung lowWith hearts torn apartI wonder, Do you see?Do You see all the misery?Do You hear the agony?Do You feel the tragedy?Do You have the remedy?How long, O LordHow long till they seeSee Your love and Your mercyWill You come for themLike You came for me?I lay these doubtsI

Happiness is...

2009-03-10T13:51:00.002-04:00

something that I have not been feeling for awhile now. It seems to elude me. I do have brief glimpses, from time to time, but it has not yet stayed with me. The moment I think I have it, it slips away, seemingly into oblivion.This year has definitely been one of the toughest, most challenging, year I've had so far, to the best of my recollections. Because of it, I have had to rely on God so much

Thanksgiving

2009-02-05T04:53:00.002-05:00

I'm thankful for God being the good God that He is. He balances being a king, best friend, lover of my soul, just, gracious, holy, forgiving, tender, firm, patient, jealous oh so well. I'm thankful for the transformation he's brought about in my life and continues to do in my life. I thank Him that He loves me enough that He's willing to meet me fully where I'm at, not the meet me halfway thing

Happy

2009-01-27T11:58:00.002-05:00

Itz been awhile since I could say I'm happy... so I'm really happy that I'm experiencing happiness again. Living under gloomy and stormy clouds for awhile, itz nice to see the light shining again. And oh, how it shines and warms my soul. "How long have I been in this storm?" turns into "This is the day that the Lord has made/I will rejoice and be glad in it".What have I learned during this time?

Relief and Release

2009-01-26T15:17:00.005-05:00

I recently just came back from a week in Spain and it has been amazing. It's been awhile since I can say I'm happy. I feel like a huge knot of pain, anxiety, *insert negative emotion here* has been lifted from me. And I know that it's God who has done it... so it is God whom I will praise.Spain was just an awesome time of meeting with God and meeting new people. I love getting a chance to hang

Changes

2009-01-17T14:56:00.002-05:00

I have been noticing myself changing. I have noticed changes within myself. I don't know sometimes if they're good changes... but it comforts me to know that i am changing. I'd rather change for the worse than be stagnantly good.My heart is slowly being encased in ice. I grow cold to those around me. But in the same way that I grow cold, my heart is also feeling the cold turn to lukewarmness to

A new title for my blog and a new template

2009-01-14T07:12:00.002-05:00

I was looking at Lydia's blog and Angela's blog and they have changed their templates. And I have wanted to change my template for awhile... so now I did.I think this template and title is a sign of the evolution in my life.Here's to new things for the new year!

A new poem to greet the New Year

2009-01-02T06:22:00.004-05:00

Well, I had a good Christmas and New Year. That's always good. It's been awhile since I've written a poem, so I figured I would do one today. I like writing poems from time to time to express myself in written form. So, hope you enjoy it...Song of Sid IIILove, the word that causeth so much pain to my very beingFor in that word, I find failure and discontentThe command to love others, extended to

Cloak of Despair

2008-12-13T14:18:00.003-05:00

As I've been listening to a sermon by Mark Driscoll, reading a book called "Search for Significance", the other one by Corrie Ten Boom called "Jesus is Victor", and as I've been really examining my life, I have come to the jarring realization that I live in perpetual anxiety. I didn't realize how anxious I was and am. Right now, I am battling for joy. It's a difficult fight... sometimes a fight I

Re-post of old thoughts

2008-12-07T20:37:00.003-05:00

So, tonight, as I was talking to Brittany (who is a friend of a friend but now we're Facebook friends) and I was talking about my blog and how she needs to read it and comment (hint hint: if you're blog stalking me, please leave a comment because it makes me think people are actually reading it) and told her to read something I wrote way back in the day. And, I thought, some people who followed

I won't hesitate no more... I'm Yours!

2008-10-27T14:56:00.002-04:00

i was reading Andrew Murray's "Absolute Surrender" for a few pages and then watched Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" video because I heart Jason Mraz and I heart that song.and then these words struck me in a new way that i've never really been struck with before"I won't hesitate no more, no more/It cannot wait, I'm yours"then i thought of my relationship with God and how i'm totally His. itz kinda kewt

The Road To Apathy

2008-10-14T19:06:00.002-04:00

I think I'm an autonomous person who wants to live in community but if it requires more effort than I'm willing to expend or I just start thinking it's not worth it, I go back to my default mode. I give up on people very quickly. VERY quickly. The mentality is one of "I don't need you, you don't need me, let's be civil but we'll never be friends".I think I'm definitely on the road to apathy.I

Transitions

2008-09-24T07:09:00.002-04:00

The night before I left for North Africa, a sudden feeling of fear and anxiety came over me. It came in a question format. I was going inside my car, thinking, wondering, "What have I done?" It was something brief, something fleeting.Or so I thought.The day that I was supposed to leave, this question came back in full force, threatening to overwhelm me with its implications and connotations. "

I just want to be where You are...

2008-09-13T00:54:00.003-04:00

These past couple of months have been filled with many ups and downs. One of the things I'm continuing to learn is that I need daily intimate moments of communion with God. I can have the worst possible day but if I'm hanging on to Him, that's all that matters.I think the hardest part is feeling not understood or misunderstood. This ranges from what I do, to who I am. While I do appreciate people

Deja Vu

2008-08-30T14:29:00.002-04:00

So here's what I wrote about my condition a year ago (Aug. 26, 2007)i'm tired.i'm drained.physically.mentally.emotionally.spiritually.heading towards the crash at hurtling speeds.i hope i'm not burnt out before i even start.I guess some things never change. :P

Frustrating Encouragements

2008-08-27T00:52:00.004-04:00

In a couple of days, I need to let our headquarters know if I have received 100% of my financial goal for this STINT year. I'm currently at 60% and have a couple of days to raise the rest. At this point, I'm somewhat in a semi-peaceful state of wondering how God is gonna come and rescue me. I kinda actually like this time. There's not a lot of times that you can actually exercise your faith. I

From North Africa to North America

2008-07-16T14:21:00.002-04:00

Turmoil. Despondency. Relief. Gladness. Apathy. Boredom.These are some of the emotions that I have been feeling ever since I got back. I miss North Africa and the normalcy of life that has happened while I was there. I am glad to be back in a country though where I don't need to feel fearful or wary should I decide to talk about Jesus or pray out loud.I miss my team. This team that has turned

what i've been reading...

2008-05-27T09:49:00.002-04:00

So i've been reading some Kirkegaard and I must say that I have been thoroughly impressed by his writing style and the profundity in the content of his works. I feel like he gives voice to my thoughts and ideas, reflections and musings on different topics. I'm reading an anthology of some of his works and it has been a delight to read both for my mind and my soul. So here are some snippets of

Who will save my soul?

2008-05-03T08:10:00.003-04:00

Last Thursday, Selina challenged a whole bunch of us to think of the lies that we believe in and write it on a piece of paper. What she didn't say was that we would have to share these lies to each other. Moment of openness and vulnerability. I didn't really like it. It was too exposing. Like being naked amongst a crowd. I'm a big fan of openness and vulnerability, but it doesn't mean I don't

2008-04-17T12:45:00.006-04:00

So I am here in beautiful Sorrento, Italy. Why then am I blogging? Is it because it's me and I blog all the time. Not really. I'm doing this because I need to write... it helps me consolidate my thoughts and my feelings. Sometimes in the process of writing, things come out that I didn't even really expect. I don't have my journal and so I can't really write. This is one of the outlets that I have

a poem

2008-03-31T17:26:00.002-04:00

I got to spend some good time meditating on God, His works and His Word. So, instead of a normal entry, I shall write a poem to commemorate it.Lessons by the seaIn the distance, I hear the ocean's roarIts peaceful waves lapping the shoreIt caught my ear, it caught my eyeSuch a vision, so near, so nighAs I looked, it spoke to meMortal man, can you see?I, His work, proclaim His nameDo you, His

Vacation

2008-03-25T04:43:00.002-04:00

So, I shall leave and go to a city 5 hours from hence.I want to draw nigh unto God. Away from distractions, away from this city.A fresh new start. Fresh new surroundings.I hope and pray that I come back fresh and new as well. That I would shed this vileness that has attached itself to me.I need You.

feelings... nothing more than feelings...

2008-03-17T19:12:00.002-04:00

Today has been a hard day. It's not as if anything has happened. It has been a pretty normal day. I think what made it hard is just the constant struggle for joy. Does it have to be so hardly won? Why can't it just come so easily? I'm pretty sure this is not the "life abundant" that has been promised to me. Why must I strive for joy? Isn't this supposed to be something that is a result of one's

oh sinful man that i am, who can free me from my sins?

2008-02-15T16:05:00.002-05:00

and so i sit here, trying not to dwell on my humanity. why must i be filled with spite and such venomous thoughts against others? why must i act on such things? i realize again how if i act on those things how it sullies the blessings i receive.Jesus, may I dwell on You and Your love, instead of the sins that so easily entangle me.and scene...

blur

2008-02-12T12:11:00.000-05:00

i've lost my focus. i didn't know what happened. i let other things replace Him Whom my soul loveth. it was all a blur. His face hazy, in fact, I didn't even see it, couldn't see it because of the veil. and the things of earth grew in stature and obstructed my view. my vision of Him grew dim. so dim, my soul was in darkness.the veil all around, the darkness surrounds, my soul in turmoil. He

New Thoughts

2008-01-12T13:16:00.000-05:00

something weird happened this new year. there was a change within. i felt optimistic about the future. this burning desire to seek Him first above all. recognizing more and more the sinful man that i am. understanding what "who saved a wretch like me" means. i felt like a new creation. i could see my flaws before than before. but when i saw my flaws, i didn't despair like before, i just

Christmas cont'd.

2007-12-31T22:39:00.000-05:00

First of all, I wanted to say that I an AWESOME Christmas! Reading the last post, I kinda gave the impression that I had an awful Christmas. But I did have an amazing time with my new family here in North Africa. They ended up giving me these really nice pair of shoes from Aldo. Black shoes that are very versatile; they can be formal or casual. I really love it. I thought that if they were gonna

Christmastime is here...

2007-12-24T19:03:00.000-05:00

It's 12:04 a.m. here in North Africa. Christmas is HERE!!! and yet here I am, blogging... well, everyone celebrates it in the Christmas morning. I'm not used to that. So now is the real Christmas... but I'm kinda alone in celebrating it. What do the lonely do at Christmas?Suck it up and try to find the joy in it all.... it's really hard to find it at this time though. Now, more than ever, I miss

les aventures de mon coeur

2007-12-21T16:53:00.000-05:00

ad·ven·ture /ædˈvɛntʃər/ Pronunciation[ad-ven-cher]–noun1. an exciting or very unusual experience.2. participation in exciting undertakings or enterprises: the spirit of adventure.3. a bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome.The past month and the impending Christmas season has not been easy on this fragile heart of mine. The ups and downs of support raising,

Pensees par Sid

2007-12-21T16:09:00.000-05:00

I) The Lord is my Shepherd suddenly becomes more meaningful after seeing sheeps killed, decapitated, skinned and disemboweled in front of your very eyes. My Shepherd leads me beside still waters, not pin me to the floor as he cuts my throat.II) Friends can bring you down. A true friend is someone who I choose to keep even after they've disappointed me.III) Being in an adventure is very different

Illuminate

2007-12-08T12:43:00.000-05:00

So many things to go through, so many changes, so many revelations. So much to endure, so much turmoil, so much pain.These too shall pass.I am reminded of how unfaithful I am. How I don't believe... nor do I want to believe. In my fear of getting hurt, I have stopped expecting. I have stopped hoping. In essence, I have stopped living. This is not the life that was promised to me. I was promised

coming back...

2007-11-23T20:38:00.000-05:00

well, this is a homecoming of different sorts. the first ever blog i ever had was on this site. then i moved to xanga. did live journal for sometime. at one point, i triple posted on xanga, livejournal, and blogger. then i cut out livejournal. then i cut blogger. now, i cut xanga and went back to my roots. what brought this on? hmmm... i'm not completely sure. part of it is that most of my

finished...

2007-03-19T17:24:00.000-04:00

well if u want to read my blog... i'm going to post them on www.xanga.com/coolaquarius.i'm not going to double post anymore.

starting over

2006-11-28T16:22:00.000-05:00

Look at your face, it doesn’t shine the way it used to Look at your eyes, they don’t sparkle anymore Look what you’ve done, you’ve ruined it for everyone Who told you that you had to lose your innocence (I can begin) I, I’m starting over (Again) I, I’m starting over Now tell me how, I get back to my childhood I used to think it was so naive, I was so naive Look what I’ve done I’

my emo-ness coming out...

2006-11-13T23:20:00.000-05:00

Untitled Descending into oblivionDown the path of annihilationInto the pit of despairI fall Though I am surrounded by humansHumans whom I call friendsIsolated I feel in this environmentStrikingly in contrast by those around me Scream,

the return to the blog world

2006-10-30T21:37:00.000-05:00

it's been a long while since I have last written here. the reason: i'm not quite sure. partly laziness, partly busy-ness, partly lack of motivation. this blog began just as a way to write about the things that i'm thinking about. it was actually provoked by a book that i was reading called "Number Our Days". that was my first real blog entry in December 2004. i had another blog during that time

reflections

2006-10-06T12:59:00.000-04:00

Holy Lord, I have sinned times without number, and been guilty of pride and unbelief, of failure to find Thy mind in Thy Word, of neglect to seek Thee in my daily life. My transgressions and shortcomings present me with a list of accusations, but I bless Thee that they will not stand against me, for all have been laid on Christ. Go on to subdue my corruptions, and grant me grace to live above

thoughts

2006-10-05T12:59:00.000-04:00

so i've been looking back at my old blogs and i'm thinking of doing another series. I previously wrote a 3 part series dealing with relationships... thinking of maybe writing another series on something. I'm not quite sure yet. There hasn't been an issue that has been prevalent in most of my discussions... so I'm throwing out the question out there. What are the things that you have thought about

Starfield, parking tickets, Summit, retreats, oh my...

2006-10-03T16:29:00.000-04:00

"what do I have if I don't have You Jesus what in this life could mean any more?"and so the eagerly anticipated words to one of my favouritest songs were sung as their encore performance. the concert was amazing!!! it started off when on Monday we went to Blessings (a Christian bookstore) to go buy the tickets. i didn't know that they were gonna be there so i was super excited to get to meet

spiritual lessons

2006-09-25T10:41:00.000-04:00

i must admit that i was wary about this trip. it was supposed to be a roadtrip, two guys, searching for God knows what. out on the open road where we are free to discuss, to not discuss, to debate, to contemplate, to spur each other on to greater heights in our walk with God. it was borne out of a desire to know Him more intimately at a time when things were confusing, foggy, unsure, not knowing

the return to reality

2006-09-21T15:19:00.000-04:00

i definitely had the time of my life this past week as i went on a long-awaited trip away from here. went to moncton, halifax, sydney, and sherbrooke. there were obstacles along the way and at one point wasn't even sure if the trip was gonna happen, but it did and i'm very glad it did.i went to moncton to go visit one of mah boïz there. he was a part of the small group that i led this january.

blogging from a hostel

2006-09-16T17:57:00.000-04:00

so i'm now here in halifax... so much better than moncton. someone actually honked and gave us the finger while we were there. racists i tell u! halifax is a bit more multicultural. i don't feel my asian-ness so much here. coz there are others.i had so much fun in moncton though coz i got to hang out with one of mah boïz. crazy driving and fun eating = happy me :Danyways, i don't really have much

change of plans

2006-09-13T22:38:00.000-04:00

so no more driving towards the maritimes coz my buddy CAN'T DRIVE!!! i just found that out today. so we're gonna bus it instead.REALLY LEAVING THIS TIME at 2:30 a.m. 16 hours 20 minutes till moncton.oh God, please help me!!!and scene...

to the road...

2006-09-13T13:32:00.000-04:00

well, in a few hours (literally!) i'm finally off to this roadtrip of mine that has been brewing all summer... minor setbacks, but it just made the going even sweeter.i've been asked why? what's the purpose of this roadtrip? well, it was borne out of the whole idea of just going out into the unfamiliar terrain and in the journey, finding, "searching for God knows what". it was made at a time when

no, itz not because i have a weak will or no will power at all...

2006-09-11T23:08:00.000-04:00

itz because i'm rather bored. i can't find my journal so i can't write... and if i write online, well i might as well put it on public instead of private. pls. pray i find my journal, i do miss writing in it.and the same goes for the msn thing: definitely bored so i went on msn. what can i say? i need constant entertainment?i was supposed to be gone already on a roadtrip, but we have suffered

a new beginning...

2006-09-04T00:15:00.000-04:00

itz funny how fast things changed. about an hour ago, i was lost and not really knowing what to do. now, i feel more focussed and directed thanks to words of counsel by my pastor/friend. pls. pray for me that i would seek His face with everything that i have to clarify and to solidify the things that have been proclaimed this night.and i just wanted to let everyone know that i will not be on msn

catching up...

2006-09-01T23:42:00.001-04:00

this week has definitely been a week of catching up with friends who i haven't had the chance of seeing for awhile...this tuesday, aug. 29, my brothah from another mothah, jimminy, and i finally saw each other after his summer on ship. so what do two guys do after they haven't seen each other for a long time? go to mec and get a bag. it is back-to-school after all! not that i'm going back to

I will NEVER EVER marry a white girl with blonde hair and blue eyes.... :P

2006-08-28T12:04:00.000-04:00

i went to a beautiful wedding last saturday... the wedding of Christina and Sangi. i must say that that wedding was the record for earliest time to cry at a wedding. they were playing this rocking music for the bridesmaids and such... and then the beautiful bride came down. and i thought they were gonna change the music but they didn't. that was surprising. and then to the strains of "i will love

2006-08-14T00:16:00.000-04:00

this friday-sunday, me and a bunch of people from my young adults went to murphy's point for some good ol' camping trip. i know the concept of Sid roughing it is hard to imagine... but it can be done! lolz. on the way there, we followed our young adults pastor who has a lead foot on the gas pedal. at one point, we got separated by the train and he had to wait for us. it was nice to go to a

2006-08-11T16:39:00.000-04:00

well peeps... i'm gonna go camping this weekend with my young adults group. it should be fun. i'm looking forward to not showering and being all around filthy. yay!!! one of the few times i'm not (too) vain. lolz.leave a comment! :D and scene...

2006-08-10T23:11:00.000-04:00

so because i'm a comment whore and somehow i'm not getting as much comment on my blog as i would like... i have decided to offer this blog in the blogspot environment as well. funny how things work out... blogspot was actually my first blog spot. (get it? get it?) but i'll still keep on updating my xanga as well... live journal, well that's another story. maybe if i get more people pestering me

2006-04-10T15:48:00.000-04:00

so i had this blog a long, long time ago... this was actually my first blog.but i've moved on to xanga. www.xanga.com/coolaquarius.go post a comment! :D

2004-05-23T23:06:00.000-04:00

if u go on this site 'n derz no new blogs...check out www.geocities.com/christian_boy_007 datz mah hp and sumtyms i blog der instead of here. i think i'm jus talkin' 2 mahself coz i don't think ne1 checks diz site out...but jic (just in case) sum1 happens to pass by here... go der and check it out. and sign mah g-book. aite... l8rz... and scene.

2004-05-02T00:38:00.000-04:00

alright, itz been way 2 long since mah last blog. well, i'm done mah exams and i'm just w8ing 4 mah marks... yikes! i think i've finally come to the realization (again!!!) that things just are not meant to be sometimes and that although we truly want something to happen, it will not happen and if it did happen, it would only be bad. i've accepted the fact that nothing will EVER happen between me

2004-04-06T00:43:00.000-04:00

last sunday, it was faye's baptism. i woke up extra early jus so i can iron my clothes and get ready. i got home at around 2 a.m. (DST) coz i went 2 a fren's play. it was Godspell. wow... high school plays really suck (unless it's Canterbury then it's amazing!!! then again, practicing till 10 or 11 p.m. and extreme dedication and talent helps a lot!) but it was funny coz we told her dat we had a

2004-04-03T03:59:00.000-05:00

aite, diz is gonna b a longer blog coz i have 2 kind of talk about d things dat happened a few days ago. last wed. was the last BeYonD meeting so that was sad. the new KSL was unveiled! hahaha. and the legacy continues.... go sachin go! lolz. afterwards, we went 2 nickel's and datz where sachin spent his b-day. now i didn't get to go coz i had 2 edit a paper which i worked on till 3:45 a.m. not

2004-03-30T23:20:00.000-05:00

I WANT TO DIE!!! wow, nice way of startin' a blog...yah i know... well 2day i went 2 klas 'n who do i c in d lib jus chattin' away on her celly...mah fren 'n klasm8 chantalle. considerin' i was runnin' l8 goin' 2 klas, i was quite surprised 2 c her chattin' it up on d phone wid nary a care in d world. and so i was perplexed and asked her... y r u here? and she said she was gonna go 2 a thesis

2004-03-28T20:22:00.000-05:00

k, d past 2 days (march 23 and 24) i talked to 2 ppl about sumthin' and it went well, so i thank God 4 dat. no hurt feelings, and we actually had a nice convo about it...with no yelling or hurt feelings. wow...we've come so far!!!! hahaha. itz kewl coz 4 meeh diz is d 1st tym dat i've really talked to ppl about sumthin' dat dey did. i'm not really into d whole rebuking ppl thang jus coz i feel

2004-03-21T01:38:00.000-05:00

this friday, we went to capital city missions 2 sing 'n serve d homeless ppl. it was really kewl. after dat, i went to an overnyt prayer meeting... 9-6 a.m. in the morning. woohoo fun! :D God taught me stuff that i needed 2 hear so i'm hapi about dat. got home at 6:30 set my alarm for 12 so i can go 2 practice at 1:30. i was 45 mins. l8 and i felt really bad. i went 2 d bus stop 2 get d bus 'n it

2004-03-15T17:05:00.000-05:00

finished mah stats mid-term a while ago... i'm so glad itz over. oh yah, i went online 4 a brief while and wat do u know i got 2 talk 2 V 'n she was really hapi. even d nyt b4, i was kinda surprised coz i logged on 'n she said hi ryt away. not dat i don't lyk it wen ppl say hi 2 meeh ryt away, but it was just such a shock...coz usually i'm d 1 who says hi 'n have 2 w8 4 so long b4 i get a

2004-03-14T13:23:00.000-05:00

yesterday, had mah mid-term. i think it went well... i'm so glad i changed mah answers!!! coz dey turned out 2 b d correct ones. so 4 all of u ppl who go wid ur "instinct" and all of dat... HA! after dat, went 2 practice for unity meeting...itz always gud 2 go 2 a practice wer u don't know d songs ur supposed 2 sing. hahaha. we had practice lst nyt and it went well. didn't have our drummer but we

2004-03-10T09:04:00.000-05:00

okei... wow itz been a long tym i haven't added a blog now... but I'M BACK! and i've gotta say itz u chantalle, u r my inspiration 4 goin' back 'n doin' mah blogs. even tho' actually if u go 2 mah hp, i write mah blogs der i guess. so in reality, i haven't been really missin' out on blogging. lolz. i was jus reading a fren's blogsite. and jus reminded meeh of watz happenin' 2 d frenz around meeh.

2003-06-04T20:19:00.000-04:00

so many things has happened... i burned with fury and in an instant, was hit by calm serenity. and then i ask myself, is all this stuff worth it? why do i value stuff over people? probly bcoz i am more attached to my stuff (comme mes lunettes!) than to other ppl...there r sum ppl out there who i don't really care for... ppl who annoy me, bother me, provoke me, and basically show me that i am so

2003-05-27T00:26:00.000-04:00

No longer mourn for me when I am dead Than you shall hear the surly sullen bell Give warning to the world that I am fled From this vile world with vilest worms to dwell: Nay, if you read this line, remember not The hand that writ it, for I love you so, That I in your sweet thoughts would be forgot, If thinking on me then should make you woe. O! if, I say, you look upon this verse, When I perhaps

2003-05-20T00:13:00.000-04:00

i have found the way... itz basically a lousy way to get out of the situation that i'm in...but watever.... so the plan is just not to call and not to attend the meetings and just not go for the next 10 days... i gave them 2 weeks notice...some even don't do that... at least, i did it. but i do not want to do a single demo again...even if they're gonna buy from me! i just don't wanna do it nemore

2003-05-16T19:40:00.000-04:00

i need a new job... a job that challenges me, not stresses me out. derz a difference between d 2...and it is i who define dat line... i told mah manager dat i was gonna quit... he won't let me go... dat means i have 2 more weeks... after d conference, i can make my decision... so yah, i think i will go 2 d conference den quit... watever... mah appointment was cancelled 2day.. i had one and it was

2003-05-15T01:13:00.000-04:00

right now, medyo naiinis pa rin ako sa isang babae kc nakakainis sia! ang feeling nia eh para akong napaka-judgmental na tao, na may mga ginagawa ako na hindi ko nmn ginagawa. ewan ko pero ung taong un, gs2 ko sia pero nakakainis ugali nia. basta, nabwi-bwisit ako sa ugali nia. pati na rin sa mga ibang mga tao na nasa leadership position, nakakainis ang mga ugali nila kung minsan. sabagay, cguro

2003-05-15T01:05:00.000-04:00

i just saw matrix reloaded...saw it at 10 p.m. may 14....and...IT ROX!!!!! wow...it rox....datz all i can say... ');" target="_self">postCount('<$BlogItemNumber$>'); | ');" target="_self">postCountTB('<$BlogItemNumber$>');

2003-05-13T01:20:00.000-04:00

kung minsan nakakainis ang mga Christians na kung mag-act eh para silang hindi Christiano. may mga iba jan sa tabi-tabi na ang sama ng bunganga nila, tapos tinatawag nila sarili nilang Christiano. Ang nakakainis pa kung minsan eh hindi nila na re-realize na nagiging stumbling block cla sa mga ibang tao. ewan ko, kung minsan mas mabuti pa mga ibang unbelievers kc ang buhay nila eh mas maayos pa

2003-05-12T00:09:00.000-04:00

i am so mentally stressed out! i recently got hired 2 b a sales rep 4 vector marketing...and the job sounds easy, but i don't think so! i applied last wed. and i got in! i was hired on the spot and my training started the very next day. so thursday, friday, saturday was my training sessions...and i have made 3 demos so far. now the demos are easy and stuff...itz just d fact that i have 2 do

2003-05-05T20:47:00.000-04:00

2day, i haven't had a call from ne of d agencies i've dropped my resumes at... have an appointment 2morow @ 8 a.m. at a place i don't even know...and i'm gettin' mah resume critiqued. last nyt, i was talkin' 2 mah fren about God and His way of talkin' 2 us 'n pointin' out stuff in our lives dat we need 2 hear and act on. i was really angered last nyt coz i went 2 woodvale 'n was enjoyin' d sweet

2003-04-29T21:23:00.000-04:00

talked wid mah fren 2day...talked about church and how i think itz not just one big man-made social organization that is fundamentally evil. however, i think wid d way dat sum churches r actin', it gives credence 2 dat thought. ');" target="_self">postCount('<$BlogItemNumber$>'); | ');" target="_self">postCountTB('<$BlogItemNumber$>');

2003-04-29T02:29:00.000-04:00

pourquoi est-ce que c'est trop facile pour moi d'être faché contre une autre personne? parfois, je me questionne et j'essaie de trouver les réponses mais c'est difficile! il y en a des temps quand c'est vraiment un défi pour moi d'avoir le patience qui vient de notre Seigneur, mais c'est quelque chose qui doit être changer dans ma vie pour que la gloire de mon Dieu sera démontré dans ma vie