Happy

Itz been awhile since I could say I'm happy... so I'm really happy that I'm experiencing happiness again. Living under gloomy and stormy clouds for awhile, itz nice to see the light shining again. And oh, how it shines and warms my soul. "How long have I been in this storm?" turns into "This is the day that the Lord has made/I will rejoice and be glad in it".

What have I learned during this time? Well, I learned that there is no such thing as a personal sin. All sins are relational sins. If I personally sin, it WILL affect other people. I mean, I knew this... but it was shown to me in a very personal way. I learned that forgiveness is going to take something out of me... just like forgiving me took something from Jesus. Forgiveness is coupled with restoration of a relationship not just words said to a person. I learned that I'm willing to change if I see people the way that they're supposed to be seen and not when I see people the way that I see them. I learned that I'm too busy being an image-builder instead of an image-bearer. I care more about building an image that others will see than just faithfully bearing it. I learned that we're not broken because we sin, we sin because we're broken. I learned AGAIN that though my sins are great, my God is greater. He's the One who changes me, not me changing myself though my own personal will and efforts.

Je t'adore mon Seigneur. T'es mon esperance et mon tout en tout.


and scene...

Relief and Release

I recently just came back from a week in Spain and it has been amazing. It's been awhile since I can say I'm happy. I feel like a huge knot of pain, anxiety, *insert negative emotion here* has been lifted from me. And I know that it's God who has done it... so it is God whom I will praise.

Spain was just an awesome time of meeting with God and meeting new people. I love getting a chance to hang out with so many people who are of the same mindset and has the same heart about reaching the lost.

I loved getting a chance to meet up with so many people and having lots of good heart-to-heart convos and just random convos about anything and everything. I really had an amazing time!

God also used this time to show me the vain imaginations that I have been allowing myself to believe and affect my life. He also allowed me to see the destruction that sin can do when I allow it to enter my life. There's a part of me that feels "woe is me for I am undone... for I am a man of unclean lips and live in a perverse generation". He is just so greatly amazing and I am so amazingly small in comparison.

Thank You Jesus for meeting me where I'm at. Continue to "rid me of myself" because I belong to You. Lead me, Lord... lead me to the Cross.