les aventures de mon coeur

ad·ven·ture /ædˈvɛntʃər/
Pronunciation[ad-ven-cher]

–noun
1. an exciting or very unusual experience.
2. participation in exciting undertakings or enterprises: the spirit of adventure.
3. a bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome.



The past month and the impending Christmas season has not been easy on this fragile heart of mine. The ups and downs of support raising, the doubts that can lead to despair, the isolation of the soul, the confusion in my heart, a changing paradigm of the Divine, the shaking of my foundations, coupled with being far away from my main support system has brought me to realize that I do not have the life abundant. Instead, I have tears abundant. My tears ease me into the darkness of night, when I languish at the thought of the rising of the sun and finding myself in the same predicament. Why such a reaction? Deus non caritas est. The most basic tenet of Christianity, if not its very essence, has been done away with and banished into the recesses of my mind and in the unsearchable parts of my soul. A hymn speaks of "love so amazing, so divine" it "demands my soul, my life, my all". When that love is not awakened, not stirred, instead flees, slumbers, then all is lost. Nietzche's blasphemous words "God is dead; and we have killed him" becomes an accusation most felt. Deus caritas est. Not Gott ist tot. If He is not love, then I do not serve the God of the Scriptures. If my mind and soul strip Him of this, then heresy has blackened my soul and my pride matches that of the angel of light. As the loveliest of angels was brought low to remind him of his place, so this Ubermensch shall meet He Who Is Above All Man.

In my despair, I did not cry out to the Lord. I did not seek Him. My soul downcast and dismayed. My heart experienced no relief nor rest. Then I reminded myself of Him Whom I served, this King I once called friend. Then I, most base among man, was lifted up by His grace and love. Deus caritas est. Gott ist tot becomes Gott ist liebe. To learn this lesson in a most profound way is life-changing.

Love one another. Love your enemies. Love as I have loved you. The Bible is replete with the command to love. Sometimes, I feel like there should be a group that is devoted to just living this out. Like some companies are geared towards the mobilization of Christian workers, so should we have companies geared towards the fulfillment of this the GREATEST COMMAND. They shall know we are Christians by our love.

This is one of the most profound and challenging thing that I have been confronted with. The Path of Love has put me in this seemingly topsy-turvy, hair-raising rollercoaster of a ride that my heart cannot handle. Instead of throttling someone, you throttle the pride that seeks to rise up within. I am on the slow road of painful death to self. Death is never fun but necessary for Life to begin. When the flesh dies, the spirit becomes alive.

An adventure is a journey into the unknown. If the future is known, the variables revealed, the situations shown, then the uncertainties of life shall cease. The uncertainty of life is the one thing that enables us to exercise faith. Faith in a Being that mortal eyes have not seen, that others may describe as a figment of our imagination, requires faith. The charge against us is that we have been drugged en masse and succumbed to the seductive wiles of Religion. Maybe so. Or, could it possibly be, that through this faith, the only thing that remains constant in a world where the only thing that is constant is its inconstancy, we are the ones who have pierced the veil that has blinded this world and have tasted of the promises of a world that is yet to come. The One Who has come said it best when he said "Blessed are those who have not seen, but have believed".

Adventure is not outside man; it is within. - David Grayson.

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