starting over

Look at your face, it doesn’t shine the way it used to
Look at your eyes, they don’t sparkle anymore
Look what you’ve done, you’ve ruined it for everyone
Who told you that you had to lose your innocence

(I can begin)
I, I’m starting over
(Again)
I, I’m starting over

Now tell me how, I get back to my childhood
I used to think it was so naive, I was so naive

Look what I’ve done
I’ve ruined it for everyone
I should have held on harder to my innocence

It’s never too late
It’s never too late for starting over

Reclaim your innocence, start over
Reclaim your innocence, reclaim you innocence
Start over, start over

Look at your face, it doesn’t shine the way it used to
- Audio Adrenaline, Starting Over


there i was standing close to the stage, having the time of my life, and then i heard this song. it was the first time i've ever heard it. but it was enough to stop me. so i stopped. and listened. and then it came over me... this is what i need to do. i need to start over.

somewhere along the way, i got lost. maybe not completely lost, just a detour. but enough to make me lose sight of the straight path. and now i am so far away from the straight path, it seems like i don't know how to get back. i remember during OEX, Oto-san told me of the analogy of an arrow being pulled in many directions, but it is when it is just one degree off the target that things go bad. because that one degree, over a long distance, is still off-course. so i find myself to be that arrow... almost near the target and yet still missing the mark. just off by a little bit... but enough to make me miss it.

i don't know how i got to be who i am now. relient k says it best with the words "who i am hates who i've been". but i can't change the past. no one can. but i can damn well make sure that i change the present. it's a struggle, to say the least. so many sins, so many let-downs, so many aches and pains to muddle through. yet change is necessary. yet change is needed.

i will reclaim my innocence. how, i don't really know. it's best to leave such details to God. but through His help, i will. i should have held on harder to my innocence... but i didn't.

all i can say is right now...

i'm starting over.

and scene...