Frustrating Encouragements

In a couple of days, I need to let our headquarters know if I have received 100% of my financial goal for this STINT year. I'm currently at 60% and have a couple of days to raise the rest. At this point, I'm somewhat in a semi-peaceful state of wondering how God is gonna come and rescue me. I kinda actually like this time. There's not a lot of times that you can actually exercise your faith. I was talking to a friend of mine and I just described this moment as similar to the moment when you're about to go to a rollercoaster ride and you know that you are probly going to die and make empty promises of never going back on that ride again but ur still going to. There's an expectancy in the inconstancy of things.

Would I trade places right now with someone who is at 100%. I don't think so. Where's the fun in that? Where's the faith in that? Gideon with 32 000 men is a nice story. Gideon with 300 men and you start to realize how God is ridiculously awesome! What an epic story. So epic, itz legendary!

I know that God will provide. I know that He will do it in His time. I know He is sovereign. I know that He is good.

However, if I hear one more time of how "if God wants you there, He will provide for you", I might actually go into i) a nervous breakdown ii) a state of rage or iii)kill someone. Quite frankly, I don't need Christian cliches to get me through. At the very least, re-phrase it! You can only hear something over and over and over until you wear out its meaning. Or, acknowledge that what you are saying is a cliche. IF you really want to encourage me, then listen to me, feel my pain, rejoice in my triumphs, sorrow in my pain. Don't patronize me with your Christian cliche that you learned in your Christian culture. It means nothing to me. Tell me something that means something to you. Tell me how you thought you couldn't make it but God came in a miraculous way. Tell me how you felt God calling you to do something but obstacle after obstacle was put in your way, seemingly insurmountable, so you gave up. Tell me something real.

Unless you're going to say something real, that means something to you, that actually pains you to say it because it brings back so many memories, or something that makes you cry tears of joy because you remember how God has brought you from a mighty long way, please don't try to "encourage" me. Because it would be of no use, of no avail. I will shut my ears and even shut my heart. I need to hear what is real, what is true. Don't give me frustrating encouragements.

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