On Graduating

I stood up and took my place in the line. Names being called, graduands walking up the stage, smiling, shaking hands, getting a piece of paper, walking off, and going back to their seat. One by one, the people in front of me disappeared. Until finally, I was next. They called my name and it seems time stood still. This is it. Everything I've worked for. All the sleepless nights, hours of writing, researching, procrastinating, wanting to quit, thoughts of failure, feelings of momentary triumphs, pondering, meditating, thinking... all of the hard work and the emotional roller coaster of the past two years for this moment. I walked up the steps, almost tripping on my hood, walked up, shook the Chancellor's hand and heard the words everyone else heard, but now seems so personal. Something something I confer to you something something Master of Theological Studies something something rights and privileges. And the hood was put on me and then I walked down the steps and then I got a picture with my diploma and I went back down to my seat. And just like that I now was a Master of Theological Studies. I looked at my diploma and wondered if I graduated with honours and it didn't really say it. But there was a letter in it. I opened it and was expecting some congratulatory letter. Instead, I found out that I was the recipient of an award (Catherine Thomson MacAlpine Memorial Scholarship) for academic excellence. I was overjoyed. It came as a complete surprise. After the convocation, while talking to a friend, I accidentally found out that I was also on the Honours List. Both achievements were what I've always dreamed of. I remember walking down the awards display case and always wished that my name would be up there. But to actually have it happen, is another thing!

Later on, I found out that the award was voted on by the whole faculty which made me appreciate the award even more. To think that when they were thinking about who best exemplified academic excellence, out of all the people they would choose me as the bearer, is flabbergasting! As much as I am happy and proud that I won the award, I find myself more humbled and very grateful. I know that it is only by the grace of God that I got it and it was not all me. And I don't mean that as some spiritual cliche. Through this event, I actually experience God's mercy and compassion. Usually, when people win an award, they experience God in more triumphalist terms. For me, I was yet again reminded of how low I am and how high God is. I cannot help but express the words of the Psalmist when he said "What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?"

I just feel so thankful, grateful and loved. I am yet again reminded of how my life has been enriched by the people in my life. Thank You Lord for allowing me to have this opportunity to learn more and draw closer to You. Thank You for providing me with the financial means to do so. Thank You for using this time to humble me and give me a better understanding of who You are to me and to Your people.

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