something that I have not been feeling for awhile now. It seems to elude me. I do have brief glimpses, from time to time, but it has not yet stayed with me. The moment I think I have it, it slips away, seemingly into oblivion.
This year has definitely been one of the toughest, most challenging, year I've had so far, to the best of my recollections. Because of it, I have had to rely on God so much more... much more than I have ever had before. I'm pretty sure that after processing the year, and the lessons to be had, I will come out a better person. Right now, it's more on the bitter part. My teacher said: "Les gens sont malheureux a cause de deux choses: sensations d'inutilite et sensations vide." I would say, to oversimplify everything that has been going on in the past year, this is it. Feelings of worthlessness and feelings of emptiness can really cause someone to not be happy.
There has been a lot of struggling through things this year, but at the same time, there has been times of triumph. Sadly, those times are few and far in between.
And, I don't necessarily think that I have joy at this point too.
Here's hoping to future happiness... and future joy!
and scene...
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